Hadrian’s Wall Way Day 3 - Haltwhistle to Tynemouth

Although the campsite at Winshields was great and the Twice Brewed Inn fantastic, what there wasn’t was any phone signal or any Wi-Fi. As such the blog was more of a ball ache than usual to try and type on blogger, add photos and get everyone photos in one place to add. Frankie suggested I just type the text in Notes, save it and then copy and paste when we had some signal tomorrow. It seemed a plan, so with Andy feeling the cold, and it was chilly, he was tucked up in bed in a bid to get to sleep before the snoring monsters started either side of him as I sat up in bed typing the blog into notes. As you all know I know what I like and I like what I know so this change in routine slightly curtailed the creative juices but by just after midnight I’d banged out something like, and turned in just as the walrus with bronchitis like noises started emanating from the far side of the room…

Still on Clyde walking time, I was awake by just after 6 so thought I’d try and walk round the camp site to see if I could find somewhere with at least 1 bar, and sure enough, just outside Dec and Marks room I got a whisper of 2 bars and was able to laboriously upload a few photos while listening to Dec bore Mark with his USA stories he’d inflicted on us the day before…it took until 8.30 to finally get a semblance of competency in the blog and all of a sudden thunder thighs arrived! I hadn’t seen Michael for a few years and Susan his lovely wife for even longer, so of course everything else was dropped as we greeted each other and had a brief catch up. At this point I hadn’t packed, got my cycling gear on or had any breakfast, so it was a mad dash to try and get out for the designated time of 9am. Obviously we failed and it was around 9.15 by the time Andy took a photo of the 5 of us together for the first time in 12 years since Day 6 of John O’Groats to Lands End, trying to replicate the pose of all those years ago! We haven’t changed a bit apart from the fact that Michael, Mark and Declan were still able to get into their Etape du Tour cycling shirts from 10 years ago and I wasn’t…😳😂

Now the peloton was 6 strong, today would be an absolute doddle! We were up at 700 feet of altitude and we were finishing at the sea so we’d have more descending than climbing and only 52 miles to Tynemouth with another potential 12 miles back to the railway station should we want to ride back rather than use the Metro. The slight fly in the ointment being Dec had booked his train home at 2.30 as he wanted to get back for the World Cup final…past the pub we went to last night we turned off the military road not right as per instructions but left on Michael’s advice to look at a spectacular bit of the wall clinging to the rocks. It was up a steep hill and as I’d been at the front and listening to Michael, Dec and Frankie resolutely refused to follow us, waiting at the bottom until we came back!

Now into the route we passed the massive ruins at Vindolanda, and what would be a feature of the day was Michael Timmins tour guide extraordinaire providing loads of local history and pointing out things along the route as the resident local with Mark. He explained that the site was family owned and had been discovered while they were farming in the 30’s. With no time to really go in and look around, we climbed up the very steep (15%!) single track road to see the site in its full glory from the top of the hill, lovely! The next 10 miles past very pleasantly indeed, all of us that know Michael well spending time alongside catching up as we alternated groups of 2 and the road meandered gently down hill. The only other climb of the day was then in front of us, Michael, Mark and Andy quickly establish a large gap to me Frankie and Dec. I asked him if he was happy with getting annihilated by the other 3 on this piffling climb and although feigning indifference he was also suddenly out of sight. 5 minutes later as Frankie then me crested the hill Dec was their with a beaming smile saying he’d taken them at the top. He didn’t mention they’d stopped before the top though…however a wins a win!

Rocking into Hexham 16 miles in and our paltry breakfast of a banana and some instant porridge the question was being asked (by me mainly…) on when we’re stopping for food? As we passed a cafe Dec enquired this looks good? But Mark, the most undemonstrative man you would wish to meet, put the instant kybosh on it and firmly stated that we would be stopping in Corbridge and having something from Grants. Duley told, it was a left over the Tyne and the bike path and quiet roads to Corbridge. With Susan Michael’s wife coming from Corbridge and Frankie also having ties to the beautiful market town we descended like a plague of locusts on the bakery. It was heaving and no wonder! I’d never seen such a smorgasbord of cakes in my life! To tipidy topidy off they also had home made corned beef pie, possibly my favorite meal of all time! There were no seats available but they were happy for us to sit on the steps of the monument right outside the shop and then brought out the contraband on proper plates and the coffee in proper cups! With Michael generously footing the (large!) bill, sitting in the sunshine eating the most magnificent corned beef pie then cramming down an exquisite key lime pie I thought I’d died and gone to heaven! 

I think we must have been there a good 45 minutes soaking up the sun and cramming down the excellent scran but with heavy hearts and bulging tummies we were back on the bikes and obviously a climb out of  Corbridge was first up. Regretting my decision of 45 minutes ago we climbed up out of Corbridge turning right of the B road onto some back lanes gently falling towards the River Tyne. What the bakery didn’t have however was a toilet. As I was last up the climb (natch) I then spent the next 10 minutes passing, one by one, the Edmund Slackbladders enjoying a comfort break by the side of the road! Last was Dec, who was still straddling his bike while relieving himself, telling us later that his cleat was stuck in his pedal and he couldn’t get it unclipped. You’ll here more, much more about this seemingly simple piece of cycling equipment later in the day, (although for once not Declan based!)

With Dec up ahead with Michael worried about catching his 2.30 train and Andy riding with Mark, me and Frankie had a chance to catch up on the very quiet single track road running by the Tyne. All of a sudden I caught a flash over Frankie’s shoulder and called out to him to watch out. A full kit wanker head to toe in Rapha kit was trying to break his Strava record along this quiet stretch and without a word nearly barged Frankie off the road. To add insult to injury he then begin shaking his head as he passed. I mean what a bellend. Unfortunately I couldn’t let it pass so questioned why he thought he was riding in the Tour de France on these quiet roads and a little thought and a comment from behind and we would have moved over. To be fair, I might not have said it as nicely as this, cue him slamming his breaks on and a full blown row ensued. I’ll spare you the details, but some industrial language was used on both sides, and we agreed to disagree as he did in fact “fuck off”! At the next crossroads I was amused to be informed that he’d also been delayed by the other 4 strung out across the road but he had shouted from behind so I think my pep talk had some effect…😂

Crossing the Tyne on the old coal railway bridge, me Andy and Frankie stopped for a photo and with time ticking on Declan decided he would leave us to make the train, although he obviously didn’t bother telling us, and it would be the last we’d see of him today! Michael was only going as far as Newcastle as well then cycling home so he went ahead with Dec, leaving the 4 of us to wind our way along the bike paths towards Newcastle and its Quayside. Passing a park by the river, there was a little bridge to go over. By the entrance a toddler on a balance bike decided he would chose the exact moment Frankie was going passed him to turn into his path. Screeching brakes and Frankie managed to stop in time and unclipped, Mark right behind him, less so! In an absolute classic of the genre, he couldn’t get his feet out of the clips, started toppling over a 0mph, put his hand out to support himself on a bush which wasn’t as sturdy as he thought it was and fell straight through it! Luckily no one saw him do it, oh sorry, I mean everyone saw it and I was off the bike howling with laughter as he lay in the bush still clipped to the pedals! Eventually he had to pull his foot out of the shoe still clipped to the pedal to get upright and recover some of his dignity! Once I’d recovered myself, the sit rep was carried out ( the first thing a cyclist says to another after a get off is “ is the bike OK”) and bike was fine, just a big scratch to his arm and some dented pride! I did have some WD40 in my bag and asked if he wanted to free up the cleats a bit, but he said it would be fine, I mean it’s not like he would that AGAIN in the remaining 15 miles was it…😂

Missing a call from Michael as we neared the old industrial part of the River Tyne, it was stop start as we crossed and recrossed the Scotswood Road before finally getting down to the Quayside, Michael looking out for us from the Swing Bridge. Once he’d seen us, he came down off the bridge to let us know he’d dropped Dec of at Central Station well in time for his train, and he was heading back home. It’s always a pleasure to spend time with Michael, I’m sure he has a picture in the loft that does the aging as each time I see him he’s fitter and stronger than the last time! As we all bid him farewell, Frankie rung Nicky to say that it was 12 miles to finish the route and to expect to see us at the finish in about an hour and 15 minutes, there was only the 4 of us left, it was flat, along bike paths and me and Frankie had ridden the route just under 2 years ago on the Coast & Castles South. Even we couldn’t snatch defeat from the jaws of this victory…

The Quayside was heaving so we went round the road way and were up climbing inland past Wallsend and the last view we would have of Hadrian’s Wall. Following the cycle path that ran alongside the busy dual carriageway to the Tyne Tunnel I had a chance to bore Andy with memories of my childhood spent at my grandparents house in Walker and the view we used to have of the ships being built and serviced on the way there when works to the cycle path meant there was a large “cyclists dismount” sign across the path and a big row of chapter 8 crash barriers. Although the trees and bushes were overgrown to the other side, I thought there was more than enough room to cycle between the barriers and the trees and as you know my healthy disregard of being told what do by authority meant I was always not going to dismount! I’d gone about 100 yards when I heard this massive crash behind me. Bollocks I thought, I hadn’t thought about Frankie’s panniers being wider than all my central bike packing kit and he’s caught the barriers and come off. Turning round to survey the damage it was Andy hanging preciously from his bike and draped over a barriers! I didn’t have enough space to turn the bike around I asked if the bike was OK, and getting a positive response set back off at a slow pace waiting for them to catch up. 2 minutes later Mark was with me but no sign of the other 2. Then a phone call from Frankie saying that Andy had damaged his handlebars and they’d be a bit straightening them. While we waited, Mark with only a hint of a smirk on his face said as Andy had ducked out of the way of the foliage on the right he inadvertently caught his bars on the barrier on the left and then ploughed into it, concertinaing them to block the bike path!  Well done Andy, your induction is complete!

All this had taken some time and we were passed the time we said we’d be in Tynemouth, so all back together we tried to find our way to the marina as the Garmin was having a paddy. Asking a women with a dog how to get there, she pointed to some steps. She then said there was a zig zagging path next to it enabling you to ride down it. Going first, it was very, very tight. I unclipped and paddled round the 8 switchbacks using the full lock of the bike. Just as got to the bottom, once more I heard an enormous crash from further up the slope. He’d done it again! Going into the first tight turn, Mark had overbalanced couldn’t get his feet out the clips in time and fallen over at 0mph right in front of this poor women! That was it, I’d completely lost it, and after the initial shock so had the women! Asking where we’d come from, when we said Cumbria she was astonished we’d got this far. As I composed myself at the bottom, I took a video of the other 3 shuffling down, the lady giving it the “to me, to you” jibes and humming the laurel and hardy theme tune! As Mark got to the bottom we assessed the damage. To add to the cuts and scrapes on his left arm for the previous get off, he now had a much worse cut on his right arm and claret was dripping from the inside of his right knee. It was all superficial, and the important thing was his bike was OK! Still laughing we were rounded the harbour and climbed up the steep busy path into Tynemouth.

When the lady who Mark had nearly wiped out had finished laughing she told us we should get a photo by the giant bike sculpture at the feet of the ruined Abbey and just before.we started the short climb up to the Abbey, Mark spotted it. Clambering over it like 8 year olds we press ganged some passers by to take a photo to mark the end of the official route, we’d done it! All that was left was to do the final mile to the Tynemouth Inn where Frankie’s family were waiting for him, a final photo with Frankie, Nicky, Conor and Ana, and I was at the bar getting the drinks In!There was talk about riding the 12 miles back to the central station where me and Andy needed to get the train back home, but it was 4pm and we’d have to set off pretty much straight away in order to comfortably catch our trains at around 7. Not wanting to tempt fate given the crashiness of the afternoon, especially after a couple of pints, the decision was made to sit and chat shit in the sunshine, have another beer and get the Metro back…☺️

What have we learned from this trip then? First Andy has completed his induction successfully to the bin fire bike touring association! His crash on the last afternoon was the chefs kiss on his comprehensive induction following the sand dune fiasco, having to sleep between the 2 snoring nightmares and the average over the 3 days being about 1/3 of his normal speed! Me and Frankie did ask in the pub if he’d enjoyed it and he said he had, but he’s a very polite and well brought up chap, the proof will be if he is willing to subject himself to it all over again the future! 

Although we did the Hadrian’s Wall Way, there ain’t much of the wall to see! I think we saw it in about 8 places on the route. The walking route follows the route of the wall more closely, and given the first day and Frankie’s unrivalled map skills I’m surprised we didn’t see more…😁 As Mark rightly pointed out however we did see lots of the wall everywhere as it was what all the older houses and buildings were all made of! It’s handy having a massive brick wall that you can steal stones from to build you house FOC…

It was great to get the band back together even if it was for just 1 day! I can’t believe it was 12 years ago since JOGLE, and I also can’t believe we were doing 110 miles a day rather than the 50-70 we do these days! There are some pretty good cyclists in that group, but what I see as my superpower is that I can bring them down to my level! Like some sort of Twighlight Zone they regress to my mean which means they fall off at Omph, hit barriers, stop for preposterous amounts of food at inappropriate times and generally wonder why they subjected themselves to it!

For Frankie, the trip’s been a long time in the planning, and despite the odd routing error, his organisational skills has meant all I’ve had to do is turn up and pedal (slowly!) The inspiration has been to help BEAT and raise some money for them, and as I type this at 2.11am on Sunday morning, he’s up over £2,000 which is really brilliant! Well done Frankie and thank you for inviting us all along on your trip!

It’s been brilliant and as always the cycling is an excuse to get together and talk to your mates, some you’ve just met and got to know and some you’ve known since you were a kid. We’ve seen a beautiful part of the country on some amazing roads ( and sand dunes…) and the weather has been spectacular! I know I’ve struggled a bit as it’s been up and down health wise this year for me and since the North Wales trip I’ve not really been on the bike for one reason and another. I need to get that sorted, and get some miles under my belt. I can’t have that Declan trash talking me without him having at least a doubt in the back of his mind when the road goes uphill…😁